If we win, or if we lose
There are times in our lives when we are tempted to not believe God. We may say we believe in God, or a god or the idea of God. We may say we believe generically and not attach any object to that belief. We may even in fact be believers, but be tempted for a time to not believe God. Not to believe His character, or His love or His plans, the glorious Truth that saved us. It is a common temptation, especially in this world where arbitrary belief in nothing in particular is enough. It's the sin that caused the fall, a disbelief of God's love and care and providence; a disbelief and distrust that God, and not us, knew best for us. But there it is again: Abraham believed God.
Abraham's body was as "good as dead" and his 90 year old wife Sarah was no spring chicken either. We all know why Isaac, the child of promise, was born to Abraham and Sarah under impossible physical conditions: so that God alone could receive the credit and the glory for what had taken place. At bible study on Monday, Gretch read to us a doctor's perspective of how impossible it was for a 90 year old woman to get pregnant, sustain the pregnancy, deliver a child and nurse the child. It wasn't just her womb; it was the pulmonary system and the renal system, and...well, a lot. :) In this, of course, God was the only one who could bring the child of promise to pass.
To Abraham, this was probably not such a hard thing to believe. After all, Romans 4:17 reminds us that God "gives life to the dead, and calls into being that which doesn't exist." For the One who spoke into nothing and created matter, to us, who do not even know what nothing looks like, belief should be simple. Even beyond our reason. (Gretch also shared a Martin Luther quote about faith and reason that my friend, Alison, put on her blog here.) The circumstances against us instead of discouraging us should rev us up for the amazing work that God is going to do because the fact that the deck is stacked against us will give Him even more glory than if things were sort of tilting in our favor to begin with. Isaac still would have been the child of promise if he had been born when Sarah was 50 or 60, but then he might have been one in a million - not impossible.
Why am I telling you all of this? I debated explaining this, because when I began this blog (and quit Facebook), I promised myself that I wouldn't whine or complain here. Ultimately though, like so many women who struggle with fertility, for example, on their blogs, I cannot be the only person on the internet who feels like this, and would love to encourage even one other woman struggling with this issue. The truth is that the deck of circumstances is truly stacked against me ever being able to stay home and raise my kids. In my logic and reason, in my husband's logic and arithmetic, there is no earthly way for it to happen, now, soon or maybe ever. But since bible study on Monday, I have been reminding myself of the circumstances that Abraham and Sarah were in before Isaac's birth. Physically without hope of a child (or the energy for one, I'm sure!) and having been in a silence from God for 40 years, they had every reason to doubt, to question, to sin in their unbelief of God's promises.
And Abraham believed God...
And if God, the creator of Heaven and Earth, the one who foreknew me and chose me, the one who knew my children before I was born, the one who cares for my soul and who knows my heart can make something out of nothing, can make dead hearts alive, can part the Dead Sea, can preserve his people for himself, then His will for me and for my family will not be hindered by something as trivial as money, insurance, the economy or this house. Period.
So the title of this post is sort of the mantra from the movie Facing the Giants. The terrible high school football team resolves that if they win, they will praise God, and if they lose, they will praise God. That must be our resolution as well, and mine in particular. If I win, I will praise Him, and if I lose, I will praise Him. Soli Deo Gloria, whether I ever get to stay at home or not.
This post is linked up here: